Surviving is not Living

Checked in and living

with 2 comments

This time is different and I’m not going to stop. I had my weigh-in yesterday and I was down 2 pounds. Of course I want big giant numbers, I want this weight off. It feels like I’m suffocating under it, but big numbers aren’t reality. In reality, 2 is a GREAT loss. I’m down a total of 15 pounds. I have about 165 left to go to get to where I probably should be for my height and age. That feels like a pretty big mountain to climb, but I’m not stopping. If other people can do it, why not me? Why wouldn’t I deserve to be healthy too?

I went back to Kansas for the weekend. I was nervous about going, that I might chow down and forget everything I was trying to do. It was difficult and I definitely ate things I know aren’t good, but it was impossible not to. I am so thankful for my mom’s support and that she tried to provide good things for me to eat. I realized how difficult it is to truly eat clean and whole in a place where the grocery aisles are stocked with processed junk, and the produce sections are scarce. It’s possible to eat clean and whole, but you pretty much have to raise/grow everything yourself.  As my lifestyle changes more and I progress even further into whole/clean eating, I will have to start taking food with me. I truly hope people in areas like that, regardless of where it is in the country, will begin to fight for better options, for clean food, for healthy options. I’m very lucky to live where I do and have good options available to me. The only thing that would be better… well, okay there are 2 things that would be better, of course if healthy living were cheaper, but also would be living near a coast to have fresh seafood. The health food stores here do a good job of getting the freshest seafood possible, but there’s no way it could be like living on a coast. It’s just not possible.

When I really get into the habit of consistently eating well, I’m going to do a detox. I know a lot of people do it to kickoff a diet, but I’m not on a diet, I’m changing my habits. I don’t want to do a detox before I’ve completely given up certain things and then ruin it by filling my body with those toxins again. Once I get into the habit of eating well, I’ll do a big cleanse and then maintain with smaller cleanses as needed.

Also, Monday, June 6th will be the official kick off of my Couch to 5K training. I need to get something to be able to time myself during it, and I’m hoping by then I can get some good shoes. If not, I will deal with the ones I have for now, but it’s going to be the first purchase I make when I’ve got the money. They’re going to be essential to my success as a runner.

I’m terrified. I know people have done it, lots of people have done it. I can and will do it, but I just can’t imagine doing it. Me as a runner? Really? Are you sure?

5.5 weeks into my training, Ben Does Life will be here in Denver on his 5K tour. I don’t know if I’ll be ready to do an entire 5K without walking, but regardless of whether I walk, run, jog or wog, I will be there to participate. Life is about participation. I am done with the “this is what I’m gonna do” moments where I make a statement and then walk away and pretend I never said it. I’m making life happen. I’m living. The good, the bad, and the ugly I’m checked back in and I’m participating again.

It’s a beautiful thing.


Written by No More Tomorrows

May 31, 2011 at 11:56 am

2 Responses

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  1. Congrats on commiting to the 5k. So many people choose to quit or not even bother because they won’t achieve what they hope to (i.e. a great time or to run the whole distance) Big deal if you can’t run the whole way. You are doing it. If you don’t run the whole way this time, maybe next time. Kudos to you!

    • Thank you. I realized yesterday that I keep setting huge goals for myself because I just want this to be fast and the struggle to be over. It took me 27 years to get to 320 pounds, and I want it to come off in a few months. My big goals lead to discouragement, so I need to stop that.

      No More Tomorrows

      June 7, 2011 at 8:51 am

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