Surviving is not Living


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My heart’s beating pounding out of my chest, sitting in my jeep, fiddling with the radio, checking my makeup, chewing gum, looking at my phone, smoothing my clothes…

Mind racing…

I should have worn something more loose, that doesn’t hug my body. My hair is starting to get flat. What if this is a joke and he’s setting me up to be embarrassed and isn’t really going to show up. What if I get mugged sitting here in this sketchy area in the dark waiting. What if he’s parked on the other side of the building and we’re both just waiting. 

*Checks phone*

He said he’d be here in 15 minutes. It’s been SIXTEEN minutes. He’s not showing. What kind of car does he drive? He said, but seriously, what do I know about cars? He said small. There’s a small one. Is that him. ohmygodimgonnahurl

He pulls up and I look in the car to make sure it really is him, at least from what I can tell from his pictures, and that I don’t step out of the car and stand there like an idiot as a stranger gets out and wonders what this freak is doing getting out of her car to stand there and stare at him.

Yup, it’s him.

The air is pretty cold, after all it’s December and I decided I should wear a very short sleeve shirt and not wear a coat because a coat would be bulky and make me look big and awkward. He steps out of the car (and I think I felt drool on my face) and says hello, gives me a hug, and we walk towards the bar.  I open the door and we walk inside and have a seat.  Since it didn’t seem like we were gonna be served anytime soon, he went up to the bar to order my drink.

I really was listening to him as we talked, but I didn’t retain much because I was too focused on admiring how freakin hot he was.  During our conversation he happened to look at his phone, apologized and said he’d missed a call from his mom and needed to call her back.  (uh oh, momma’s boy?) He then asked if I’d go outside with him while he called her.  I appreciated that a lot, because it was a nice gesture to make so that if I was having any potential feelings of He’s calling another girl!! those feelings could be put to rest.  He made the call quick, asked if everything was okay, said he was on a date (!!!!!) and got off the phone. He then apologized again and said his mom had been sick and since it was kind  of late that she had called, he wanted to be sure she was okay.

I melted.

As we stood up to walk back inside he stepped in front of me and turned his cheek towards me and tapped it with his finger. I smiled, giggled a little bit, and with butterflies fluttering away, I leaned in for the kiss just as he turned and tricked me into meeting his lips.


I smiled and he slid his hand into mine and we walked back inside, with him yelling at me for opening the door before he could get to it, of which I had now done several times. What can I say, I’ve never been woo’ed, I was used to opening doors myself.  I was capable.

Yeah, I know that’s not the point. He was wanting to be a gentleman. It was natural for him. I wasn’t letting him do what was natural to him and what was important to him.

We stood outside for awhile after I had said I needed to get home so I could sleep. After a long and cuddly goodbye I got in my car, telling him I’d let him know when I got home, and confirming that we’d plan date number 2 very soon.

As I drove towards home, my mind raced over our date and everything that was said. Smiling from ear to ear, in a way I never had before, I found myself resting on one thought…

I’m never letting that man go






Written by No More Tomorrows

June 29, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Posted in Relationships, Stories

One Response

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  1. […] my top 5. It was the day I met a man who would forever change my life. I wrote about our first date here. It was one year ago […]

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