Surviving is not Living

Battling On

with 7 comments

After such a hard post from yesterday I came in here to do a funny or mindless post.  Fail.

Last night I was watching the latest DVRed episode of Celebrity Rehab 5 (Yes I’m admitting it’s a guilty pleasure) and Sean Young was talking. She mentioned alcohol, and said it felt like an old friend, that it was always there, that she could turn to it, and she was afraid to say goodbye to it and not have it in her life. (I’m paraphrasing).

Did anyone else identify with that?  I do. Only, not with alcohol.

Today I went downstairs, and what I returned with was


And now I feel sick.

What redeeming value is there in any of that?


Some people self-medicate with a needle in their arm, a snort of something up their nose, a crackpipe, pills or too many shots.

Others of us do it with sugar and refined carbs.

Our destruction is legal, but it’s just as destructive. It triggers the same “happy place”. A vice is a vice is a vice.

But with those of us whose struggle is food, well… we need to eat. It’s a necessity in life, so we have to figure out how to stop battling with it.  A heroine addict, to stay clean, can avoid the drug houses, cut off those friendships, etc. I’m not saying it’s easy to give up the drugs, I’m not that insensitive, but it’s different.

What is the answer when we’re invited out to dinner and have so many trigger foods to choose from, or when we walk by 50 different places each day that can provide us our fix, when marketing is all about the things we’re poisoning our bodies with?  What then?

My drug of choice is legal. I can get it anywhere I want and there’s no age limit, no law against it, nothing stopping me.  But me.

I have to stop me.

And if only it was that simple.


Written by No More Tomorrows

July 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Posted in Fear, Health

7 Responses

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  1. I think you underestimate how many people have been and are struggling with the very thing you are. It’s just one moment in time. Those cookies and candy do not define you. I know it must feel like it a lot of the time, but I promise you that you are so much more than an oreo, a pant size, or a stupid number on the scale. You have to be okay with YOU, then you’ll be able to battle those food demons. They seem irresistable, but I promise you, you are stronger than they are.

    Fitness Getz Easy

    July 12, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    • I read a lot of weightloss blogs, and it seems a lot of us have been posting similar things lately, so I’m aware of how many others have the same struggle. I meant to portray that with the usage of us and our and we as opposed to I. I know my slipping is due to emotional reasons and things being upset in my world. The lesson I’m trying to learn for myself is that even when my life turns to crap, not to turn my eating to crap. That’s the battle I fight, that a lot of people fight who have always turned to their good friend twinkie when things are unsettled. Thank you for your encouragement.

      No More Tomorrows

      July 13, 2011 at 8:09 am

  2. Using food or drugs as a coping mechanism (I have used both), is not failure. It’s just trying to find something to help. I sometimes try to see it as a strength because I am looking for something to make me feel better.
    Using food in large quantities isn’t actually what I need to feel good any more because it really only makes me feel worse.


    July 12, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    • I felt sick all night long. It’s not the first time I’ve felt awful from the crap foods I ate. I wish I could remember that everytime I think about feeding my troubles with sugar.

      No More Tomorrows

      July 13, 2011 at 8:10 am

  3. I understand this completely. I am there right now. Trying to make good choices. Recognizing what happens when I don’t make good choices. And learning to recognize a good choice ve. a bad choice, and then to actually make the right choice. Like not ordering seafood alfredo when I go out to Red Lobster or for Italian and getting whole wheat pasta.

    It’s so hard. It takes time. Just as it does to overcome any addiction. But the first step (truly) is admitting that you have a problem and fighting like hell to overcome it.

    You will do it.


    July 13, 2011 at 8:02 am

    • I know good choice from bad choice nowadays. I stood there looking at the crap and I told myself I’d feel icky if I ate it. And I gave a big middle finger up to my body and bought the crap anyway. Then because I felt dumb for buying it and wanted to hide the evidence to pretend it didn’t happen, I snarfed it down. Out of sight, out of mind, eh?

      That’s not normal.

      No More Tomorrows

      July 13, 2011 at 8:13 am

      • Maybe not “normal”, per se. But it happens.

        I bought two boxes of macaroni and cheese at the store. Two. Boxes. And I know I will end up eating them because macaroni and cheese is my downfall. Not the homemade kind either – the velveeta shells and cheese kind.

        You will get there. I fully believe that.


        July 13, 2011 at 8:50 pm

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