Surviving is not Living


with 4 comments

I make plans and then I lose focus. It happens a lot. This is my time to pull it back together and keep going, get out of this funk and move forward. I’m not restarting, I’m just continuing what was stalled. I started out the journey to health really strong, then life happened and I got distracted. I set my sights on building a business of my own to not have a boss someday soon, and got distracted from that also. Couch to 5K began, and stalled.

So this is me taking a moment to regroup.

I haven’t been weighing in mostly because I knew there’d either be no loss or a gain and I just didn’t want to face it. I fell off REAL bad for awhile, and then lately it’s been more of an eating-great-but-not-working-out type of a fall off. When I began this journey, I knew it wouldn’t be smooth sailing, but I also knew this was going to be the last time I said I was getting healthy. I knew this time was going to get it done. I just knew it. So, as frustrated as I am that I haven’t stuck with things as well as I’d like to have, I also know it’s just a part of the journey. I know I am learning a lot, I’m living life, and I’m making the right changes. But it’s time to measure things again. However, I’m not going to do weekly weigh ins. Instead, I’m doing it the way Ben’s doing it. Weigh-ins will be the 1st and the 15th of each month. The number on the scale matters to me, but it’s not the more important focus of my life. So I’m giving it the right place in my life, twice a month. With that I will also be using other things to tell me how my progress is going, measurements, clothing sizes, run times, distances, etc. The number isn’t all that matters.

Call this section “Everything I won’t be eating.”

People talk a lot about not depriving yourself. I don’t like to look at it that way. There are certain things I just don’t need to be putting in my body. Ever. I don’t think that’s deprivation, I think that’s just seeing food for it’s true purpose. I don’t want to see food so much as pleasure as I do as fuel. I want to heal my relationship with food, and only eat what I need.

Part of my desire to change my food is also to combat the PCOS (warning: discusses things of a feminine health nature. If you are squeemish about those things, don’t click the link) I was diagnosed with 8 years ago. I decided to take charge of it and control it. I haven’t been medicated for about 6 years and despite that I was still able to get pregnant and carry to term. The stillbirth of my son doesn’t seem to be because of my PCOS, at least according to my doctors. But lately, things have been looking kind of sketchy in the area of my feminine and reproductive health. (such as having a 70 day cycle instead of the “normal” 28)

More than anything in the world: I WANT BABIES.

So I am taking control of it. I have read a crap ton of information about treating my PCOS naturally. I fully believe that once I am healthy my body will give me healthy babies. Basically the information I’m finding is saying to reduce animal products, eat protein, good fats, low GI foods, Cut out caffeine and Alcohol and avoid white food. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve made big steps towards a veg lifestyle and I can say with full confidence that one day very soon I will not be a meat eater. I’ve also found some information to recommend the herbs and nutrients that will control my effed up hormones, man-hair, mood swings, effed up cycles, insulin resistance, weight, and acne (all things attributed to PCOS) I also hear good things about a gluten free diet in treating PCOS, so I’m going to look into it. Basically I have been looking at, how can I cut out all of this stuff and still eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. The answer I’m finding is, pretty darn easily, actually.

Many plans regarding running. First step, get back to Couch to 5K training. That will commence immediately. Basically my only option is to do mornings. So I will be making sure I start getting up early and getting the wogging in. Once the Colorado cold sets in I may be looking for an indoor track or gym, or I may just be sucking it up and dealing with the cold. Especially if I’m going to be taking part in races during the winter. Which brings me to my plans.

I did my first unofficial 5K back in July. Now it’s time to get official. November 13, 2008 was the day I buried my son. I think it seems fitting to run a race for babies that day. I get paid soon and I will be registering for that race. Once that is done there’s no turning back. I either run it or I wasted my money. And I’m cheap, so I don’t like wasting money.

Then, you know… next year is 2012, and there’s 12 months in the year, and I figure, why not also do 12 races?


Yeah, I will begin looking for races once they’re posted and will be doing a 5K once a month in 2012. 12 5K’s in 12 months. Right now that seems crazy, but to runners who do long distances it’s nothing. It’s not like it’s 52 marathons in 52 weeks or anything crazy like that. Who does that?!

Speaking of which…. (omg I must be frickin crazy)

Denver hasn’t been announced yet. Denver may not be a stop on their tour but I’m assuming and hoping it will be since we were so fabulous this year. There is a marathon in October in Denver. They do a marathon and give you the option for a half. I’m not sure the timing. I’ve looked into the training programs for a 5k, 10k, half, and full marathon and if I do them consecutively with a week break in between, it takes me out to June. Basically…

I have my eyes set on a marathon for 2012.

So, there are the goals and plans I have set in place. I fully believe I can achieve them. I just have to get out of my own way.

That’s the first step.


Written by No More Tomorrows

August 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I stumbled on this by pure chance, and can only applaud your determination to regroup. All the best with the future: and that significant 5k race…


    August 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm

  2. I’m so excited for you! A race per month- what an amazing goal!! Also, good for you for taking your PCOS by the nuts. I’ve been struggling with the same for 8 years, too. Don’t get discouraged! I have a good friend who is a nutritionist, marathoner, health nut… NUTRITIONIST!!!- she also has PCOS and is struggling to control it. BUT —-> she is preggers, early pregnant, but pregnant none-the-less. We can do this!! I’m excited to hear how your 5k training is going. Keep me updated!


    August 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    • I will for sure keep updates coming. It’s the best way to keep myself accountable to what I’ve said I’m going to do. Did your friend do things naturally to deal with her PCOS and get pregnant?

      No More Tomorrows

      August 26, 2011 at 8:31 am

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